I recently said of someone, “I would take a bullet to the chest for him, but I’d never rent him a room in my house. There’s a difference between dying quickly for someone and dying slowly for someone.”
This has been a powerful recognition for me. People who I desperately love are, unfortunately, sometimes people who I can’t live with or see often. Boundaries are important, because while dying quickly for someone is a noble decision, dying slowly only leads to unhealth, frustration, and resentment.
If you feel like you’re dying slowly, you might not have enough boundaries in place. Yes, you might take a bullet for that person, but would you spend a lifetime slowly dying for them?